This was my favorite song at teenage when ”Scatman” was big name!


I watched ”Sex and the City” one evening again. (They’re showed replays here in Finland almost like non stop.) Those girls were talking about menopause and the symptoms it can cause. Samantha was late and was scared of it is the sign of that. While watching that I realized I’m soon in that age and that hit me badly. It was almost panic reaction when I really assimilated the thing. Menopause is really starting the process of getting old and for me it can be already six-seven-eight years away. My mom was quite young when she got it and her mom was too so I think I’m also. Actually my periods have been a little irregular lately. That can be maybe the first starting sign. Like when my periods started it took many years before those came fully regularly…

One thing what is terrifying me in this coming menopause is the thing that after those came I can’t have babies. (I know I can eat pills like my mom did but I don’t think it’s safe to make babies and I don’t think it’s the same thing anyway). I’m not saying I nesessery want to have baby (atleast right now) but just the idea of that I can’t soon choose it anymore feels bad. So if I later would want to have baby I can’t choose it anymore. Funny, I never thought I would react like that but obviously I would like to have the chance to choose. I’m not really sure if I will regret it later if I’m not gonna make kids (or even try it).  

The second thing which is scary in menopause is those symptoms, specially sleeplessness, depression (which were mentioned at ”Sex and the City”.) and mood changes. Sounds horrible! I have sleeplessness (periods) already and sometimes also bottom shed specially now when this darkness is increasing. I know not everybody got so big symptoms but it is scary cause it can be me! It wasn’t too easy to my mom either. It was a short period but still quite hard. I remember when I was a child and I didn’t really understand why did my mom felt so bad…

I shouldn’t be thinking this too much beforehand but can’t help. I’m thinking many things too early and I’m always making catastrophe thoughts of everything.

If this menopause wasn’t so sure sign of getting old and loosing your womanhood (fertility), I would be more than happy to gave my periods away. I would be able to live without horrible pains every month and will save money after don’t need those stupid sanitary towels anymore. Also you don’t have to be worried about if you leave red marks behind you…Sorry guys but really it’s awful!!

Well, those are probably things I can’t leave behind for many years if I got some hormone pills to eat…and maybe those also temper the menopause symptoms. Let’s hope so!


These songs in this post came in to my mind cause this all got me wondering the thing how years have flyed away. My life have gone by like a blink of an eye. Autumn seems to be the season when I’m thinking these kind of things much more. Maybe cause it’s depressive with this darkness which may be feeding negative thoughts. Also the year is coming to it’s end and it gets me thinking that how the other year has gone by again. Like we were talking with my friend one day: christmas is coming again. Soon we must listen the same christmas songs again in radio, post christmas cards and take christmas decorations out while drinking my favorite drink: glogg. The good news is, after christmas it comes spring again! 

Tiimalasi (hourglass).

Sorry, I didn’t find the english lyrics…


Photo from yesterday.

Summer came back to Helsinki! It’s been very sunny and summery since yesterday. I’m so happy about it! I have also slept better at nights and my rehearsal yesterday went quite well. I once again got that great flow feeling and those new choreographys started to run. I noticed that my body balance have progressed too (we made a balance exercise). Could it be any better! 

Yesterday was also perfect day to take photos and when I saw those rowan trees with beautiful red berries on my way back home I had to stop to while to photo those.

Also the flower arrangements (at open area near my rehearsal place) where beautiful.

Have a good fall days you all!


I was about 17-18 years when this song was a hit. I fell in love with that immediately. Since that this song have been the song what keeps me going when I feel bad. This is for you all who’s down and needs encouragement. Especially I want to dedicate this song to my lovely friend who’s now suffering with sleeping problems (among many other things). 

I know sleeplessness is very tedious ail. It’s stressing and depressive. Also when it’s very bad it will effect many other way to you (like you will forgotten things and act defective). I have also suffered every now and then sleeplessness…like right now me too have this kind of season…the season when I’m waking up along night, (specially in morning time). It’s very exhausting! Luckily so far I have fell asleep well in this period! Still besides that waking up along night I also wake up a little bit too early in the morning.

Yers ago when I was at high school I had all the three sleeping problems mixed together. (I stayed awake before I fell asleep, I woke up many times at night and I woke up too early.) I know this is chain reaction. You start to stress to go to sleep. When you stress that it only makes it much worse. So I’ve tried to stress less but it’s not always easy cause your mind can be tricky.

Well, surely some day (or night) it will get better like this far it always have! I’m trusting it! You too trust that the better day will come and remember…don’t give up!


Did you know that singer-song writer: Lee Hazlewood (who made songs for example to Nancyn Sisarta) did record with -earlier years popular- finnish singer: Anna Hanski? I guess not. I didn’t either before I while a go saw one interview of Anna where she told the story behind that collaboration. 

It’s an an interesting story. Anna made at 90’s finnish version of the song: ”Summer wine”(”Kotiviin”) and that’s the reason they met. Lee realized he got royalty from Finland from some unknown girl. He called famous finnish show business expert ”Pertsa” Reponen and asked about Anna. After that conversation Lee wanted to meet Anna and the result of the cooperation was the record included their duetto of the song: ”Summer Wine”. (Originale version  was performed by Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra.) Anna and Lee became friends but Anna said that when she met Nancy Sinatra she was acting quite arrogant to Anna. Maybe she was jealous…or just typical diva. Lee fell in love to Finland and enjoyed his time there. 

Anna also told that some time later Anna went to Spain to could meet Lee once again. She did heard that Lee is there but he wasn’t anymore when Anna came there. Anna left a note to him. Later Anna heard Lee was dead and so they didn’t have a chance to meet again. Remembering that all made Anna very touched in that interview.

I think Anna sounds great on that record. Her voice is very good. She definitely plays not the second fiddle compared to Nancy! Good job! Like Anna said the record is really under rated. I think not very many even knows about that record like I didn’t before that interview.


There is three more songs by Kirka and two songs by his great sister Muska. ”Jari ja Mari” is my favorite of her songs. I guess most of these are quite well known for all with original versions.

Original: ”Johnny and Mary”(?)

Original: ”Bridge Over Troubled Water”

Original: ”Beginning and End”

”Johnny Be Good”

Original: ”Vado Via”


For the honor of 100 hundred year Finland, (I have made and) will make some more posts of Finnish notable people. This time I gonna make a post of one finnish legend: ”Kirka” (1950-2007). He was very talented singer! He’s voice was awesome (very national) and he was also versatile singer! 

Kirka started as a vocalist at 60’s and became very popular. In autumn 1967 was recorded his breakthrough hit: ”Hetki lyö” which was a translation of The McCoys band song: ”Beat the Clock”.

In 1984 Kirka did take a part to Eurovision song contest with the song: ”Hengaillaan” (let’s hang around) and did place 9th. In 1988 Kirka won Finnish classical song contest: ”Syksyn sävel” (autumn melody) with the song: ”Surun pyyhit silmistäni” (Sadness in your eyes). That became very big hit! The album with the same name is all time 3th sold album in Finland (over 214 000 piece).

Four of Kirka’s siblings were also musicians. One of siblings did drown at the age of two. Also other of siblings (brother ”Sammy” (1948-1973) dyed very young at car accident). Sister ”Muska” (1952) have succeeded as a singer quite well. She also have great, rough voice like her brother Kirka. I specially like her one song named: ”Jari ja Mari” (Jari and Mari).

In 2007 Kirka was going to take part to the Finnish version of the tv-show ”Dancing with the stars” but the destiny decided it other way. Kirka got an heart attack and passed away 10 years ago, 31.1.2007. but he still lives in our heart and he always will!

(Reference: Wikipedia)

”Kahden Hullun Matka” (The journey of two Fools)


”Ota Lähellesi” (Take me close to you).


These videos are very funny! Would you believe that in finnish we have common words with japanese? Well, believe it or not, it’s true! 

There were few finnish words with other meaning besides the meaning used in video. Those are here below:

  • Kiero=cunning 
  • Otto=cash withdrawal, taking 
  • Taru=story/saga (shorter (and older?) version of more used word ”tarina”)
  • Sika=swine


I CAN FLY AGAIN (can you?)

Yes, right I did fly again for long time ago…in my lucid dream the night before last. 

I remember I suddenly put in the middle of the dream some bar through wall (don’t ask me why). Then I started to think could I be in dream. First I hesitated and thought that ”No, I don’t think this is dream” (cause it felt real like you usually feel in dream). Then I realized that it must be dream or I couldn’t put that bar through the wall. I was super excited! The adrenaline flew fast! I knew I could do something special. As usual in my lucid dreams I decided to fly. The place (now) seemed to be my parents house (my childhood home). 

I decided to jump up at terrace (sixth floor) and fly. I was a little bit scared cause I still wasn’t 100% sure am I at sleep. Everything was looking so real. The view, the sky, the balcony, everything. I was praying in my mind to not fall down and die. I thought that it’s ”now or never”. I must have somehow new that I can’t be wrong…and then I jumped. I rised up and flyed. It felt great! I remember how I admired the sky when I flew. I felt so free! At some point I was flying at England and watched the city lights. Some point there came also water under me, like there been some big lake. I flyed to water and swimmed a while.

That was a long lucid dream. Those often ends quickly but this didn’t even though I did scare of that. I was happy to get a lucid dream for long time ago. I was so waited for those. Finally I got it.

Those who haven’t saw well controlled (high-class) lucid dreams doesn’t sadly know how euphoric it is. So you might be wondering why I’m blazing this. The good news is that you can train your selves to see those. The most important things is:

  • simply just be present in your life and live in the moment what ever you do. This makes you more consciousness which will increase that same ability when you’re dreaming. 
  • Make reality tests
  • Discover what you gonna do at your lucid dream and make the decision to see lucid

You can read more for example at Wikipedia.


I saw also another interesting dream one night. There I was again at my parents house. I was gonna stay there over night and sleep at balcony. Then when I watched at balcony I saw someone there even there shouldn’t be anyone. I knew my dad was at alcove under the balcony but I soon realized that man at balcony was also my dad. So my dad was at two place at the same time. That was weard! My mom came to look also and she saw the same thing: two daddy. (My dad was already at livingroom in front of us). I was confused but not really scared. It could have been a nightmare but it wasn’t. I just felt really weard and was wondering how could this be possible. 

What a funny dream. Dreams can be amazing. I love the dreamworld! It’s so own world! Soon it’s the bed time again and I hope I’ll see lucid dream again this night. Probably not but let’s hope the best! 

What kind of dreams have been you’re weirdest or best dreams? Have you ever seen (controlled) lucid dreams? Tell me at comments!