This was my favorite song at teenage when ”Scatman” was big name!


I watched ”Sex and the City” one evening again. (They’re showed replays here in Finland almost like non stop.) Those girls were talking about menopause and the symptoms it can cause. Samantha was late and was scared of it is the sign of that. While watching that I realized I’m soon in that age and that hit me badly. It was almost panic reaction when I really assimilated the thing. Menopause is really starting the process of getting old and for me it can be already six-seven-eight years away. My mom was quite young when she got it and her mom was too so I think I’m also. Actually my periods have been a little irregular lately. That can be maybe the first starting sign. Like when my periods started it took many years before those came fully regularly…

One thing what is terrifying me in this coming menopause is the thing that after those came I can’t have babies. (I know I can eat pills like my mom did but I don’t think it’s safe to make babies and I don’t think it’s the same thing anyway). I’m not saying I nesessery want to have baby (atleast right now) but just the idea of that I can’t soon choose it anymore feels bad. So if I later would want to have baby I can’t choose it anymore. Funny, I never thought I would react like that but obviously I would like to have the chance to choose. I’m not really sure if I will regret it later if I’m not gonna make kids (or even try it).  

The second thing which is scary in menopause is those symptoms, specially sleeplessness, depression (which were mentioned at ”Sex and the City”.) and mood changes. Sounds horrible! I have sleeplessness (periods) already and sometimes also bottom shed specially now when this darkness is increasing. I know not everybody got so big symptoms but it is scary cause it can be me! It wasn’t too easy to my mom either. It was a short period but still quite hard. I remember when I was a child and I didn’t really understand why did my mom felt so bad…

I shouldn’t be thinking this too much beforehand but can’t help. I’m thinking many things too early and I’m always making catastrophe thoughts of everything.

If this menopause wasn’t so sure sign of getting old and loosing your womanhood (fertility), I would be more than happy to gave my periods away. I would be able to live without horrible pains every month and will save money after don’t need those stupid sanitary towels anymore. Also you don’t have to be worried about if you leave red marks behind you…Sorry guys but really it’s awful!!

Well, those are probably things I can’t leave behind for many years if I got some hormone pills to eat…and maybe those also temper the menopause symptoms. Let’s hope so!


These songs in this post came in to my mind cause this all got me wondering the thing how years have flyed away. My life have gone by like a blink of an eye. Autumn seems to be the season when I’m thinking these kind of things much more. Maybe cause it’s depressive with this darkness which may be feeding negative thoughts. Also the year is coming to it’s end and it gets me thinking that how the other year has gone by again. Like we were talking with my friend one day: christmas is coming again. Soon we must listen the same christmas songs again in radio, post christmas cards and take christmas decorations out while drinking my favorite drink: glogg. The good news is, after christmas it comes spring again! 

Tiimalasi (hourglass).

Sorry, I didn’t find the english lyrics…


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