CHEATERS

https://chilavertnmezi.wordpress.com/2017/10/07/is-your-spouse-cheating-on-you/

I did read that post while ago and that got me thinking this cheating topic again. (Also watching cheaters have inspired me.) I have wrote this topic before in finnish but I thought it could be good idea to write in english also.

At first I have to say that I don’t judge anyone (my next sentences maybe can sounds like I would). I don’t. I understand that we are only humans and that we make mistakes. Still I don’t know why make things more complicated. It’s all about choices. You make the choice! You make the choice to either date some other or not. You don’t have to go out with someone else. It’s all up to you! This maybe sounds ”easy to say” thing but in the end it actually is that simple. You have to ask yourselves: ”Do I really want to risk my relationship and make things harder to us”. Why would you wanna do that? (Ok, that makes difference if you are some sex addict or just enjoy having sex with others. That’s a whole different story. Could be harder to fix. Or maybe alcohol is your excuse. Then you shouldn’t be drinking so much that you loose your control. Shouldn’t be a big deal to drink a little less. Or maybe it is for some…)

I know there can be also tough times in relationship and you can maybe get even a crush to someone else who’s so good listener, so kind, so understanding…So much more than your own spouse is these days but you don’t know him(/her) really. Weren’t your own spouse like that before? It usually means that you two have some troubles, or maybe stress or something, not that your spouse is cold or doesn’t care anymore. It’s easy to blame other one but how about you? Are you still the nicest one? Maybe not. Then you should instead of cheating think the ways to chance that. Really invest in your relationship and try to make it better. I bet your crush isn’t either the nicest one all the time. No one is! When you’r delighted you see everything through pink glasses! as we atleast say in Finland. You don’t know what it’s like to live with your crush and you shouldn’t feed your feelings to your crush with seeing him/her again and again when it’s much more harder to stop. 

Like when you watch cheaters, you hear too often they (specially women) say that their spouse didn’t understand or listening anymore, or work too much or something like that. I don’t think these are good reasons to cheat, even you are hurt! These are things you should try to solve out. Cheating is not solving any problems, just brings more problems. 

If your relationship is too heavy, or you feel nothing is left to give, you can leave but you don’t have to cheat! (I know things can be complicated sometimes and maybe you already given up long time ago with your relationship, then it’s easier to understand that happens.) Still that one person have ment so much to you (atleast sometimes) and she/he (probably) count on you! So try to show some respect and just leave before anything happens! 

Anyway, I do think forgiveness is great! If you can forgive your spouse his/her cheating, (when it’s asked), that’s awesome! In the end forgiveness is important in long relationship and what could be better than know that no matter what happens, you have always someone beside you!

Have you ever cheated your spouse? What happened?