SAD NEWS

(Tango queen 1996) Saija Varjus: ”Tähtiin kirjoitettu” (Written in stars)

This song is about relinquish…

I heard some very sad news before Christmas but I didn’t want to tell those news in my advent calendar so I tell you now.

It’s about my dad. He have a bad liver cancer which can’t be removed. Also he’s so old and weak that every potential nurtures could be fatal for him.

He have been quite alive though. I can’t believe his so ill. In spite of that illness our Christmas dinner went well. He ate normally and was able to sit with us the whole evening. I think it’s those pain killers.

We were ready to think with my brother that this might be our last Christmas when we’re all together…

The good thing is my parents don’t remember that thing cause they both have Alzheimer. I can see it. They live like before, like nothing happened. Mom always says how good it is they’re still quite well considering to their age. I think this is better to them. Now they can be living happily together the rest of the time they still have.

On the other hand I’m very worried about mom how will she cope if she stays alone. Specially with Alzheimer it can be tough, cause she don’t necessarily remember what happened and where my father is. Like my grandma didn’t remember the death of my grandpa. Scary thought…and I don’t even know could she live alone anymore or will her condition just get worse…

I’m picturing in my mind again and again the situation when the doctor visited at my parents and told the bad news. I heard from my brother my mom shocked first and then after that dad too.

I can imagine their reactions. I can easily see it in my mind. I can hear my mom crying loudly (like she had before). It’s terrible picture even though I know they don’t remember it anymore…but still it hurts me to be thinking that!

I only hope my dad can get some help. The help which will slow the progress of that disease and will help he to cope and manage better!

Take care and good night!