(THE FIRST) FATHER’S DAY WITHOUT FATHER

My dad.

Now as it’s fathers day, the first one without him (for me), I wanted to memorize my father. So there’s photos of my father and also some thoughts and dreams concerning my father’s passing away.

I have now two timelines. The first is the time when my father was still a live. The second is the time when my father was gone. Those two I automatically recognised when my father passed away. I’m using those timelines when I’m memorizing something in the past. (Was my father alive or not.) It’s like demarcation in my life, the demarcation which I didn’t know before.

Kuvaesitys vaatii JavaScriptin.

My dad in the army at 1960’s.

My dad got some medal at job (at 70’s or 80’s).

ELISA (A BAD) MARKETING CAMPAIGN

I got an add to my phone one day. The add was from Elisa operator. It said: ”Have you bought a present to your father already?” I was just thinking that: it’s impossible to me like it’s impossible to all who doesn’t have father anymore (and there are quite many of us I assume). So the question is: why do they do this? Send randomly messages like this without knowing what’s the situation. Do she or he even have father anymore. This is not right way to marketing. This kind of marketing should be done in television only. Not this way. I never liked that kind of marketing, but I think this was the rock bottom. Shame on you, Elisa!

The boat trip to Stockholm in April 1994. We were celebrating of the 50th birthday of my mother. On the left in front of the photo is my dad and behind on the left is (my brothers ex girlfriend,) mother and I in the age of 13 (almost 14).

THE DREAMS!

Before the funeral, my brother saw an interesting dream about my dad. In that dream we were all together at my parents house (my childhood home) with the whole family. My dad was laying in coffer. Suddenly he stood up and he said: ”Don’t you worry, everything is ok. I’m fine!”. Then he walked out of the door. I believe this was the sign. It was the sign what I’ve been waiting for. I’ve been hoping he’s at better place feeling fine and then this dream came to my brother. After that I have been more peaceful cause I know he’s at heaven. That’s what he wanted to come to tell us.

There are guides and one card from my fathers trip to Amsterdam at 1970’s. These I found at daddys cabinet when we were looking for important papers.

**************************

Also I have had dreams of my father. Like one day I saw the dream where we all were at my parents house together -again-. My father was sleeping on his bed while the rest of us where watching tv. Then he woke up and climbed on windowsill where were also a lighting candle. My father did burn his selves on that candle and started to shout. I went to get some water and threw it on my dad. That’s all I remember of that dream but it was really weird!

On the other dream I’ve seen my father we were in our summer cottage and I knew my father have passed away. Nevertheless I saw him on my dream and I was happy. It felt like one of those happy moments I have had in our summer cottage. I think I somehow knew that I was dreaming but it felt quite real.

Senior dance at high school 1999. After we performed old salong dances to our family members, we danced with them. Here is my final dances with my father.

My dad’s 60th birthdayparty (in 2006) at russian restaurant in Helsinki. (Doesn’t he looke still great on that age?!)

The old father’s day card which we gave to our dad years ago. This teddy is so cute!

Fare well my dad and I hope every one have had a happy fathers day. Those of you, who still have a father to celebrate. Remember these moments, cause those won’t last forever. One day those happy moments are gone…

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