It’s Valentine’s day again…or ”Ystävänpäivä” as we say in Finland which actually means: ”Friendships day”. Here in Finland we are celebrating more broadly friendship on that day. It’s not only couples day. Though to us it kind of was (as probably for many other couples too this time). We were together at home…like any other day these days. You can’t go anywhere and dare not meet anyone so here you are at home…with your spouse…if you have one. I’m lucky to have one because this time would be even heavier to take alone!

Anyway, because I’m always at home and we both like delicacies (-maybe even too much-), baking is a good pastime, so now in honor of Valentine’s Day, I made traditional Finnish delicacy called: ”mokkapalat” (mocha bites) which are so good!!!

Otherwise my baking was almost complete but I messed up a bit with the frosting. It became a little too fluid and it partially flowed under the bottom but fortunately most remained on the surface and it tasted really good!!! That frosting is the best!

Usually mocha bites are decorated with nonpareils but I wanted to make something different and decorated those bites with white shocolate. Though it was a little challenging for the chocolate melted quickly in the hands but I am, however, satisfied with the result.



1US cup=2,4dl

1UK cup=2,8dl

You need:

4 eggs

2,5dl sugar

200g butter or margarine

2dl milk (or vegan milk drink)

5dl flour

0,5dl cocoa

1tbsp baking powder

1tbsp vanilla sugar/vanillin


75g butter or margarine

0,75dl strong coffee

4-5dl /240-250g icing sugar

0,5dl cocoa

2tsp vanilla sugar/vanillin

To the surface:

nonpareils/cocos chips/almond chips…or whatever you like. I used white chocolate but it melts in your hands too soon so it’s challenging to handle even it was really good!


Beat the room temperature eggs and sugar into a thick, light foam.

Melt the butter in a saucepan or microwave. Add cold milk to the melted butter to cool.

Combine dry ingredients.

Mix the butter-milk mixture with the egg-sugar foam and the dry ingredients through a sieve. Mix gently with the arrow until smooth. (If you don’t have sieve, you can add those dry ingredients in small batches, sprinkling like I did.)

Pour on baking paper into the oven pan approx. 30 – 40 cm.

Bake in the middle of the oven at 200 degrees for about 15 minutes. Allow to cool before frosting.


Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add coffee. Sift other ingredients through a sieve. Stir until smooth. (Again, if you don’t have sieve, just add dry ingredients in small batches.) Pour a little warm frosting in the middle of the base. (When hot, the frosting is too loose to apply and then it is absorbed into the bottom. As the frosting cools, it thickens to fit.) Allow to drain towards the edges. If necessary, apply with a spatula to the edges. Garnish before the frosting hardens. Cut into pieces.

Enjoy with coffee or cocoa!





A great song which describes my feelings quite well in this life situation. This certainly hits many at the moment.

Corona life just goes on and on…although yesterday came the exchange of good news in this regard. The incidence of the virus decreased by 17% worldwide which is quite much! Another good news is that the Pfizer vaccine has also been found to be effective against viral variants. In this regard, however, the bad news is that I will certainly not receive that vaccine myself. In Finland, Astra zeneca will probably be used as a folk vaccine and its efficiency is not as good. Pfizer vaccine would certainly be the best possible (the vaccine which my mother got at nursing home). We should get more of that!

Another corona day is beginning…again…I’m happy I don’t have to go anywhere today…even in a way it’s nice to start the day by going out and get fresh air…specially when there’s peacefull and not many people like yesterday. I was quite confident when I went to the grocery store in the morning. I don’t know why and I hadn’t even slept all night (I just couldn’t sleep -probably due to the hormonal cycle-). Somehow I still felt quite safe, as soon as I left, even though I didn’t know even then that the morning was very calm. There were not many people on the move…maybe my confidence came from above…

Spring was already clearly in the air. Even the birds were already singing. It was nice to walk in the fresh, quiet frosty morning. There were not even any recipients on the outing. Instead when I left the grocery store back, just as i came out of the store, I almost came across a woman who was walking against me in a transverse direction. I did leave as slippery as a frightened cat. You probably know how a cat jumps when scared. I almost jumped too…I don’t understand how i didn’t notice her. I probably wasn’t as attentive as usual because I hadn’t slept at night…Well luckily I had a mask…and luckily I didn’t come across a woman…



I can’t help but wonder at what threshold the news sometimes makes headlines here in Finland. Like the news about half a year ago of a woman who wondered where she had gotten a corona infection. She had not visited anywhere else except in the grocery store once a week with her husband and even then they always had masks on. At this point I was getting quite nervous while reading this. I was thinking like: ”What in the world!” How miraculously easily the virus properly infects. To my recollection, the woman said they had been careful. Though I did not know in detail how they really acted when making their shoppings (whether they touched their masks (maybe accidentially or unawares), or were in the vicinity of people for too long or something like that…things I never would do myself. I avoid people like the plague and I do not ever touch the mask after I placed it, as many do. (If it ever needs to be repaired from the facial area, at least hand disinfection must be used before and after repair). Anyway, I started to worry, how easily the virus actually could stick…until I read on…to the point where it was said: ”husband had contracted the coronavirus through the work community”. That’s it! What is unclear here?! I mean really, come on! Are you serious, woman?! Your husband have gotten infection from work and you wonder where did you got it…Well, let me tell you, you got it from your husband. Surprise, really! Case closed!



One thing is for sure. Phones are really smart phones these days…My phone did resemble me today about something that happened four years ago. It showed me photos taken on this exact day in 2017. Those who followed me even then may remember that the day was the funeral day of this woman I had been taking care (/and or assisted years) as a job. When I saw those photos, those emotions immediately surfaced. It felt like yesterday. I couldn’t believe it has been four years already! I was only 36 so young and so full of life and future plans…However the future was quite different than planned…

I also saw a dream about A (that woman I took care) a couple of nights ago. I’ll tell you more about that in next section: ”Dreams”.


I have had interesting dreams lately. Let’s start the one I mentioned above related to my previous workplace as an care taker/personal assistant. So ”A” (=paralyzed woman I was taking care/assisting 2007-2017) was alive again and I was back to help her. I didn’t even wonder about the situation although it’s been so long since I last worked for her. Even in a dream I knew I had been away from her for a long time. She was about the same as younger, in a better condition. The beginning was a little sticky. I had to think for a moment about what was to be done and how but the work gradually progressed. A Therapist also came to ”A”, although there had to be something else in the program first (I don’t remember what). ”A” began to feel depressed, and started talking to the therapist. I thought therapy might do good and I was gonna go to grocery store while her therapy session but the dream ended there. In real life ”A” was a psychologist herself. The therapist never visited her…

Corona time often comes to my sleep as well these days and no wonder why. Usually at the beginning everything is normal until at some point I realize that now is the time of the Corona. Then I get scared cause I usually don’t have a mask, no hand disinfection, nothing.. and I am usually surrounded by people like the dream a couple of nights ago where I was on some kind of camp…I think it was a flow gymnastics camp where I was with my previous team. Again I suddenly realized I don’t have mask on even though I should and the accommodations corridors (where I was walking) was full of crowds. I started to panic and tried to hold my breath when passed by people. At the end I didn’t find my way back to my room and started to cry hysterically…

One night I saw a dream, I got the corona vaccine…you never guess from who…from my brother. When I told this to him, he said he saw a dream one night where he had been instructed to vaccinate workers at his workplace. This was really interesting coincidence. Pretty similar dreams we had.

Ok, next time the subject changes cause we will meet on valentine’s day…something happier for a change!!

Stay safe and positive!


#poetry #reminiscence #repost How I wish… Oh how I wish to turn back my life’s pages And be a child Sitting in my mother’s arm Feeling every bit of coziness and calm To do big blunders and go off easily To cry as much and not be judged Oh how I wish.. To fall off […]


This poem inspired me to write my own -planned- poem with this same idea. Hopefully no one is bothered that the idea is copied. However, I liked the end result and wanted to publish this just like that. I also have to say that the original one is really great! I love that poem…but my poem shows what the word wish at the moment first brings to my mind.

My wish

I wish I could walk on street without fear, without need to be looking out.

I wish this is not the end of life, not the permanent state.

I wish I can hug and touch some day, see all the colors, not just gray.

I wish the joy comes back for me, that joy once so pure and true.

I wish I could be free again, free to live and free to love, free to be friendly.


Finnish national landscapes with the beautiful –Finnish themed music– of Anssi Tikanmäki.


”The other people, so annoying but so important”. This is how Maija Mäkimaa (Tiina Rinne) uttered the last words in the popular ”Kotikatu” (as home street) series in 2012. Tiina Rinne died recently in the age of 91. She made a long career as an actor. The best known of her roles was the role of Maija Mäkimaa on Kotikatu which she acted for 17 years (1995-2012). That is, throughout the history of the program. Surely all Finns knew Maija Mäkimaa, and had at least sometimes watched the series. (I have most of those books too).

The words Tiina Rinne uttered in 2012 on Kotikatu, tells a lot about us humans. It tells us how easily we irritate each other, especially if we are in constant contact with people. We start to get bored and tired of people and the connection is easily broken. (To introverts this happends more easily than to extroverts), but on the other hand, if we are left all alone and have no one, then we are truly unhappy. People, in all their annoyance, are really important to us.

Kotikatu theme.


At a time like this, you really realize how important a connection to other people is. Now that we live in the midst of constraints, its importance is emphasized. We really need each other. We will not get along on our own. I find myself longing for those little moments which I didn’t appreciate enough before…like touches… those moments before my father passed away, he was really sick and I could hold his hand or moments when I got to hug my mother, which I haven’t seen in almost a year. (My mother was in the hospital till spring -20 to autumn -20 and have been in the nursing home after that). I even miss the moments when I dared to spend a moment (or two) with a neighbor, share news, exchange ideas…and moments when I was allowed to walk around the city freely in crowds. (Before I hated the masses)…The significance of such seemingly small things is not realized until they are lost…

I have reflected a lot of my childhood and my youth in recent times. I also came across an old photo by chance. I am there with my mother in the middle of the old town of Tallinn. We spent her 60th birthday in 2004 there. She is still so youthful and stylish in the picture. The difference is huge compared to today. Looks like eternity has passed since that moment. However, it does not feel so. It feels almost like yesterday as we stood side by side smiling at the camera…Actually, it’s been 16 years already…I guess I’m a little bit changed too. At least my hair is starting to turn gray. Well in the picture my hair is dyed anyway…


The time we are living in now is also very exceptional for young people. After all, for example, penkin painajaiset; ”penkkarit” (a traditional February party for high school graduates) have been canceled and traditional salon dances for high school seniors have been moved. Both of these celebrations have a very long tradition in Finland and now this tradition is being broken. Young people are certainly really disappointed. These were both very important and unforgettable events for me as well.

Some ”abi’s” on the truck stage last year.
This is from the same year when I was high school senior but different school. I have some senior dance videos linked on earlier post but I don’t remember in which post so couldn’t link it here but you can get the idea with this video.


Grade 2 students’ dances include traditional salon dances, which they perform for families, relatives, and other schoolchildren. Dressing has also traditionally been in keeping with the style of old times, which I loved. (Though today many of students is wearing more modern evening gowns). Some have also dinner together, we spent the evening with groups of friends and then we had so-called ”cruise of the seniors”.

”Penkkari driving” was also an unique experience. It includes a tour of the truck stage where candies are thrown to an audience standing on the street. Graduated students (abiturientit as ”abit”) also shouts on stage of all kinds. Most often they are heard shouting, ”zero, zero” which means ”zero” school days left. There are paintings and funny texts on the sides of the trucks (made by graduated). Traditionally students have also overalls with pictures drawn and written of all kinds (or it also seems to have become more common to have some other funny dresses like a masquerade outfit). We once had ”abi” cruise in high school as well. I don’t know if it’s still common…but those are great memories which I’ll always remember…It’s sad that this year’s high school students don’t get to experience these great traditions…

We still must continue to try to cope!

Don’t give up!


Ainiin, kaikki suomalaiset, jos nälkä iskee ja olette ideoita vaille, käykää katsomassa uusi jauhelihapihvireseptini kotikokin sivuilla, jonne kirjauduin! Tein tätä varten oman alasivustonkin, joka löytyy tuolta sivun yläpalkeista nimellä: ”Tanssityttö kotikokissa”. Jatkossa sieltä löytyy uudet reseptilinkit! Laitan nyt tämän ensimmäisen linkin tähänkin alle, niin löytyy nopeasti.


With love: ”Amar” (tanssityttö)