I CAN FLY AGAIN (can you?)

Yes, right I did fly again for long time ago…in my lucid dream the night before last. 

I remember I suddenly put in the middle of the dream some bar through wall (don’t ask me why). Then I started to think could I be in dream. First I hesitated and thought that ”No, I don’t think this is dream” (cause it felt real like you usually feel in dream). Then I realized that it must be dream or I couldn’t put that bar through the wall. I was super excited! The adrenaline flew fast! I knew I could do something special. As usual in my lucid dreams I decided to fly. The place (now) seemed to be my parents house (my childhood home). 

I decided to jump up at terrace (sixth floor) and fly. I was a little bit scared cause I still wasn’t 100% sure am I at sleep. Everything was looking so real. The view, the sky, the balcony, everything. I was praying in my mind to not fall down and die. I thought that it’s ”now or never”. I must have somehow new that I can’t be wrong…and then I jumped. I rised up and flyed. It felt great! I remember how I admired the sky when I flew. I felt so free! At some point I was flying at England and watched the city lights. Some point there came also water under me, like there been some big lake. I flyed to water and swimmed a while.

That was a long lucid dream. Those often ends quickly but this didn’t even though I did scare of that. I was happy to get a lucid dream for long time ago. I was so waited for those. Finally I got it.

Those who haven’t saw well controlled (high-class) lucid dreams doesn’t sadly know how euphoric it is. So you might be wondering why I’m blazing this. The good news is that you can train your selves to see those. The most important things is:

  • simply just be present in your life and live in the moment what ever you do. This makes you more consciousness which will increase that same ability when you’re dreaming. 
  • Make reality tests
  • Discover what you gonna do at your lucid dream and make the decision to see lucid

You can read more for example at Wikipedia.


I saw also another interesting dream one night. There I was again at my parents house. I was gonna stay there over night and sleep at balcony. Then when I watched at balcony I saw someone there even there shouldn’t be anyone. I knew my dad was at alcove under the balcony but I soon realized that man at balcony was also my dad. So my dad was at two place at the same time. That was weard! My mom came to look also and she saw the same thing: two daddy. (My dad was already at livingroom in front of us). I was confused but not really scared. It could have been a nightmare but it wasn’t. I just felt really weard and was wondering how could this be possible. 

What a funny dream. Dreams can be amazing. I love the dreamworld! It’s so own world! Soon it’s the bed time again and I hope I’ll see lucid dream again this night. Probably not but let’s hope the best! 

What kind of dreams have been you’re weirdest or best dreams? Have you ever seen (controlled) lucid dreams? Tell me at comments!

FRUSTRATION (About job searching)

Watch this very touching clip! Hope this one is working!


This is much harder than I thought. I mean to find that other –main- care taking job (personal assistant), added to this current side (care taker) job (which I now do to my family friend as I told you). I have been searching and searching (mainly city employment-to private person). I just don’t get anything even I’m very experienced. I have made this job over 10 years. I have had many kind of customers. I can handle wheelchair. I can cook basic homefood. I’m good listener. I feel like I would have so much to give someone. 

Well, partly I haven’t found anything because of the time tables (don’t mach) or they do have too little working hours or some of them (men) is looking for a male care taker or something like that but I also have sent some applications. 


I haven’t usually even got to interview (except via that firm where I worked a short time but that lady who’s care taker I was, was sent to the hospital). Once when I did got to interview, that man who were seeking care taker (or he should have) he actually were (also) seeking a lover. I felt really uncomfortable after he admitted that. He was older man, what was he thinking. If he’s looking for a lover he’s looking from a wrong way. Of course that job I could get if I would want it but I definately didn’t. 

The last case was also ”interesting”. We did make an agreement for interview to upcoming Tuesday. I suggested a time to see with e-mail (we didn’t agreed it at phone. I wanted to make sure the right time). He didn’t answer me at all!! Ok, I got it, he got someone already (I know he had many interviews on that week we speaked). Why didn’t he just tell me. ”I’m sorry, I got someone already”. He could easily send a message and say that and he should do that but he didn’t. 

Then before that last boy I called to one lady who was talking to another conversation so the line was taken. I sent a message to her and said I was interested of the job she offered. She didn’t call me back and neither answered to my message. I guess she have also got someone (probably that one with who she was speaking when I called her). Again, she could answer something to me or is it too much to ask to respect atleast that much someone who’s interested to work to you that you answer something.

Also I’m confused that I haven’t got any answers to my job application e-mails I sent (except that last boy who didn’t confirm the interview time.) I’m starting to think that I do something wrong but I don’t know what could it be. I personally think I write well so it can’t be that. 


Anyway, that’s my life. I always ”got the bone” like it’s said (atleast in Finland). (=Not very good luck). Sometimes I feel like Miranda at Sex and the City, when she said: ”Hello, am I invisible”. I’m so tired of being ”invisible”. I can’t take it anymore… I don’t know, maybe I got my first long-term care taker place too easily. It made me believe that I can get new place as easily (especially now when I have so long experience.) Maybe this was lesson to me. Don’t assume anything or take anything for granted! I definately don’t anymore! That’s for sure!

That song below have great lyrics. This came in to my mind yesterday when I was memorizing ”A” (lady I took care in long term and died last winter). As some of you might know she was not only my employer but also my friend and I miss all the fun things we did together. That song reminds of her. It’s really beautiful and touching!