”Never Ending Story” (released in 1985 in Finland) was my favorite movie when I was a child. I was watching it in a movie theater with my class (to the best of my recollection in only 1990. I’m still pretty sure it was the first movie, not the second sequel part even though it was released in 1990 in Finland.) I think I was 10-years old by then. I also fell in love with this song…and still like it.

This covid-19 feels like never ending story. It never seems to have an end…but it must come sometimes. I refuse to believe that the rest of my life would go in fear of the virus, and I don’t really believe so, although some do say so. We have to win this race if only the vaccinations continue at a steady (as fast as possible) pace.

When I was young I always thought that I was born in great time and country. There was so peacefull and safe. No wars or any crisis in decades. Nothing threatening. How could I have been so naive? How couldn’t I think that everything can change at any time, that the future is unknown. Life can surprise. You never know where it will take you…


It can take you for example to this…to demonstration against covid -19 restrictions (or a demonstration for freedom of speech as the organizer himself highlighted in his speech which is an obvious lie…or perhaps not a lie, but a modified truth). The demonstration was held in 20. march 2021 in Helsinki ”Kansalaistori”. (Similar has been the case in many other countries recently.) From what I heard, I realized that these people don’t think this would be a serious pandemic so they speak about freedom and think that masks and restrictions in general are useless. They compare this to regular influenza. I do not think that such measures are being taken in vain around the world (or just because of the exercise of power). They also says that masks just spread the disease but there are also positive results from the MASKS if you just USE IT RIGHT and also USE THE RIGHT KIND OF MASK (which are ffp 2 and 3 masks or surgical mask). For virus variants, the most effective is to use two masks. I use both of those I mentioned, these days.

These people want to have INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM but no society works that way. Quite a bit of chaos would follow from it if everyone were just responsible for themselves and could do whatever they want. Who even imagines they could ever be free. I don’t. I ever have. We never have and never will be totally free! There are always responsibilities in our lives!

This disease has been proven to be bad especially for at-risk and elderly people. Certain variants can be very bad for both young and healthy people too. Are these people willing to take the risk of infecting someone else who can in the worst case, die. They just want to continue a normal life without any restrictions and rave about individual freedom.

The same demonstration on 20. march 2021 in Helsinki, ”Kansalaistori”.

I wondered if she who held the sign ”freedom and responsibility” knew what responsibility meant. Doesn’t that mean we follow the rules of society (especially in such a serious situation) and we do not rebel against and tear to pieces what others are trying to keep together?! Not everything that changes the world needs to be twisted as conspiracy theory. It feels like everyone just doesn’t want to admit or see it if the matter is frighteningly serious. Many just want to close their eyes and put things at the forefront of conspiracy theory or something like that.

One thing I have to tell them who read my earlier posts and might think I’m crazy to scare this much covid -19, I’m not the craziest one. I read an article of woman who haven’t even went to grocerys while this pandemic. She has not gone anywhere. Well, she has a detached house so she have her own yard. Quite nice! You can get fresh air and touch of the nature without fear. However I wonder that she didn’t even dare to set off last summer when the disease situation in Finland was very calm. Personally, I was moving quite normally back then. (i.e. I went to work and took care of everyday things normally). At some point I even remember my thought that this might not be such a bad disease for a woman my age, that maybe it would only be good to get sick, and after that there would be no need to fear. By then there were not even virus variants which have greatly increased my fears. Apparently some have been even more afraid (all the time) than I am!


Some time ago I saw again covid -19 dream where I was at some shopping mall. I bought something but I was left my money on the pocket of my jacket which I couldn’t find anymore. I didn’t remember the way to the stand where my jacket was. I was in panick. I also realized that I’m in the middle of people and I don’t have mask or anything. People were passing by and my fear did grow. At some point I started to cry. I didn’t get my money back…

So the covid-19 is these days often also in my dreams. Like I told you earlier those are always like this. I’m in the middle of people without mask (and without disinfectant) and at some point when I realize the situation, this makes me really afraid! The corona has thus gone deep into the subconscious! When times are tough, so are your dreams!

Have a nice day and stay safe!

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I saw a dream of my father one night. I was in front of my childhood home and my father was at the door. He was looking for the keys and didn’t find those.

He was angry because he didn’t find his keys (like he surely would have been in real life also in this kind of situation.) I was scared of meeting my father there cause I new my father is dead. I had my friend with me near of our house and so I called her to come closer. She came and I showed my father to her. I tried to say something but I couldn’t speak. I remember I tried to call my father but it was only a silent whispering what came out of my mouth. I was very anxious and my breathing got really heavy. I could strongly hear the sound of my breath. My father stopped what he was doing (finding the keys). He just stood still and I got the feeling he was surprised of my reaction. Like he would be thinking why am I acting this way. Then I woke up.


What a weard dream this was…but I think I got the message. My father didn’t find the keys obviously cause he doesn’t live there anymore. He’s place isn’t there anymore…Still, it’s natural for me to see him staying there, cause he have been there most of my life. Father is still living in my subconscious!

There is still one thing I don’t understand. Why it’s sometimes happy meeting when you see deceased people in your dream and sometimes scary?