(I THINK) MY GLASS IS HALF FULL

First I’m very sorry, I haven’t wrote for a while. That’s because I didn’t feel well and because of that I didn’t find motivation to write. I will tell you more about that in this post…so let’s start it with one question…

IS YOUR GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?

So how is it? Do you feel your glass is half empty or half full?

I (had to) face this question lately. I somehow realised my clock is ticking. I’m not young anymore, for real. I have been thinking these thoughts already long before but there are things which have made these thoughts really real for now. These things are mainly connected to my healthy issues…

At first my periods started to mess with me occasionally. Sometimes those came normally, sometimes those lasted over 2weeks non-stop and started right after again. (It could be because of the stress of my fathers cancer). Then when I went to blood test, it became clear that I have anemia (which is typical for women who have abundant periods). Now I’m eating iron (retafer) which have helped me (and I have decreased the dose) but it can take a long time before it will completely help against sleepines and weakness.

I ate for example spinach crepes when I had that bad anemia.

I also got the covering letter to a gynecologist. Interesting thing was that she didn’t find those 2 little myomas (liquid vesicles) which was founded last spring when I went to lower abdomen ultrasound. I guess those just have disappeared which is surely great! The doctor suggested also a coil to me. That worsed me to think about the baby making thing again. I’m still not sure about that and I don’t think that comes more clear to me in couple of weeks (or months). I just feel quite pressured to decide right now even I refused to take the coil by now but the doctor said that: IF I WANT TO MAKE A BABY I HAVE TO MAKE IT NOW, NOT ANY LATER! So that surely made me think! The question is still the same: What do I want? The biggest thing I’m scared of is the childbirth and I’m also afraid of miscarriage. That would be devastating experience. Maybe I have been listening too much childbirth stories which have been often frightening…but then again, will I (we) be lonely without a child at older? Will my life be empty without watching a child growing? Like my doctor said, it’s not fair that men have time to think the baby making (almost) as long as they need. Why women don’t?

That’s not even all. I’m also afraid of that coil regulation and I’m afraid of is it fitting to me cause it’s not fitting to every women. I did read an article of that a while ago.

I got to know on my doctor also that my thyroid is possibly bound for overactive. My grandma suffered that same issue. After hearing that it came a chrystall clear to me why I have had those symptoms I have (and why my periods were uneven).

Here is the most common symptoms if you have overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism). (I did bold the symptoms which I’m suffering most):

• nervousness, anxiety and irritability
• hyperactivity – you may find it hard to stay still and feel full of nervous energy
• mood swings
• difficulty sleeping
• feeling tired all the time
• sensitivity to heat
• muscle weakness
• diarrhoea
• needing to pee more often than usual
• persistent thirst
• itchiness
• (loss of interest in sex)

An overactive thyroid can also cause the following physical signs:

• a swelling in your neck caused by an enlarged thyroid gland (goitre)
• an irregular and/or unusually fast heart rate (palpitations)
• twitching or trembling
• warm skin and excessive sweating
• red palms of your hands
• loose nails
• a raised, itchy rash – known as hives (urticaria)
• patchy hair loss or thinning
• weight loss – often despite (an increased appetite)
• eye problems, such as redness, dryness or vision problems – read about the complications of an overactive thyroid for more about this

I have majority of these symptoms so I could be suffering of this even my numbers are still (almost) normal but the point were you beginning to show symptoms is very personal… Like I told you I have also had uneven periods and shivering which can also be sings of hyperthyroidism according some articles I’ve read.

I’m so tired of being tired and that weakness which at first even made me feel dizzy sometimes. I never wake up being perky or energetic. When I come home after work and market shoppings, I usually feel like I have run a marathon. I’m just so exhausted and I don’t have the energy to do anything at home. That’s annoying! That’s why I didn’t have energy even to write though I have many ideas and drafts in my blog which I would love to accomplish! Normally I’m so enthusiastic to write and now the feeling have been gone for long time…but I’m already feeling a little bit better probably cause I just found out my hemoglobin is back to normal. Still I don’t know my ferritin number by now (depot iron). Earlier it was real low maybe it’s still low…

Well, let’s sea. I wish I will be ok soon. Maybe my thyroid will be back to normal without any operations. It could be…and ferritin will surely raise now when my hemoglobin is normal again…

Till the next time…