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”…Out of reach, out of touch,
How you’ve learned to hate so much?
Out of reach, out of touch,
How you’ve learned to hate so much…”
”I am always a potential killer. It always lives in me.”
”When everything is executed, I call the police and I’ll tell them who I am.”
”My childhood is associated with massive trauma. I was that benevolent kind boy who never hit back. Bullying increased year by year and began to get harsher traits. I began to wonder how I would survive. Something happened inside me. When I survived, the experiences have largely turned into resources.”
Let’s start with the notification thing. If you have not noticed, the sidebars have a new page: ”recommended posts”. Check out the page (especially if you have not followed me for a long time and you would not read many of my posts). You will find a lot of reading.
”Movie of survival and bullied who won the mass murder’s mind”
I watched a great documentary film some time ago. Its main character is a Finnish school bullied man (Lauri) whose rage is growing with years of intense bullying and in his mind he begins to mature the idea of violent revenge. However, he seeks therapy, and learns ways to control his mind…
Lauri later became an academic researcher on the aggression and violent behavior of the human mind and a respected scientific expert. Lauri has created a theory of “white rage”. According to the theory, there are several people who are full of “white rage” as a result of the combination of school bullying and trauma experienced in childhood. Which can, in extreme cases, lead to school shootings and other acts of violence.
I myself have been bullied at school too, but fortunately on a much milder scale. It was mainly discrimination typical of girls. They left me out of their gangs. The boys could shout something. I remember, for example, one time in upper secondary school when a boy in my class asked, ”Did you forget your breasts home?” my breasts were not as developed like some other girls my age. Many teenage girls could be badly hurt by such a phrase. Fortunately, I never took the shouts too heavily.
However I luckily got my own chain cut off in high school. When it started, I was determined to come out of my shell and open up to people. I did that too, and I made a lot of new friends. However, there was one in my original group of friends who was sometimes mean to me. She did not receive support from others, but was not directly hindered by others, and did not cause this to stop. I eventually changed my circles of friends, when this bully did not change her behavior in spite of apologies. Life went on.
”Bully people are not people, they are just enemies”
In me, however, bullying did not arouse rage, but rather disappointment for humanity, and sorrow for why others take advantage of another’s weakness at such a poor level… but if the bullying had continued from elementary school to high school, and had been more physical, I don’t know what it might have done to me. Would I have lost faith in people? Certainly. Would I have seen my bullys as mere enemies. Possibly.
Years of constant bullying leaves its mark on each of us and after all, I don’t marvel at any of the faceless feelings of anger that the bully in the film had (-or others who have experienced similar bullying-). It is only human.
What makes me really sad is that we still have so few ways to stop these bullying chains in time and prevent these bullies from causing perhaps lifelong mental problems to any human being! These chains must be broken quickly before anything irreversible has time to happen. No one can cope with such a burden alone!
Teachers should keep a closer eye on what is happening around them and if someone is always alone, they should refer he/she to a psychologist. Maybe it would be good if every schoolchild should visit at least once or a couple of times of school psychologist. There, the student’s situation would then be mapped out, and his or her well-being determined. Some students could continue therapy if necessary. Even bullies would get help with their problems.
I also have a question for bullies: Why do you always bully the weakest, defenseless people? Those people who would certainly have a lot to give to others. Those who submit easily. Who turn their other cheeks without defending themselves. Those most sensitive people whose sensitivity you take away… Why do you want to do that? Why would anyone want to do that? Destroy another’s life, perhaps permanently.
As a guide for the bullied: First, leave the words of the bully to their own devices. Those tell more about her/him as a person than about you. Why give value to the sayings of someone whose life’s job is to push others down and who isn’t close to you? Second…
if the situation is unbearable for you, SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY!
Have a nice weekend!