Hunting for the keys in Helsinki

I visited my deceased brother’s (owned by my mother) apartment last Friday. Every time I’m there, a wave of sadness hits me that there’s no one there to greet me in this old family home. Naturally, neither grandma nor grandpa could be there anymore, (whose apartment this used to be) but also my brother, who lived in the apartment for most of his adult life, was no longer there to welcome me…

Topelius statue (finnish author, poet,
journalist,
historian)

Views from the city center.

I went to the apartment to search for the keys to our family cottage, which my brother had kept for the last few years. I had no idea where the keys were, and the search took several hours. Still, I arrived with hope in my heart…

Pe 4.8.2023

I travel by train about 30 kilometers from my hometown to the center of Helsinki (I don’t like driving in the city). It’s been a while since I’ve been here, and memories of my past life come flooding back. I remember how my friends and I used to go for coffee or eat here after high school, how we danced at clubs on many weekends, or how my mom and I often went shopping at Stockmann. As I pass by the restaurant ”Rymy-Eetu”, memories of my 30th birthday from 13 years ago come to mind. We had an afterparty here with a group of friends. At St. John’s Church, I recall a friend’s wedding in 2006. There are so many memories here…

St. John’s Church

After walking through the bustling city center, I arrive at my brother’s apartment. In the hallway, there’s a pile of his shoes and coats, along with tickets pinned to the bulletin board—event tickets, a pizza delivery menu, and even the lunch menu from his favorite restaurant just around the corner. On the right side, there are two scarves hanging on both sides of a mirror: on one side, a blue and white Finland scarf, and on the other, a Jokerit hockey team scarf. Stepping into the entrance, one can immediately sense your love for food and hockey. All these belongings you left behind are traces of your former life here. It’s as if one can feel how you lived your life here… but the most important thing is missing: you!

To be continued…