37 YEARS LIFE BEHIND

I have been so busy lately that I have forgot to stress my getting older even I already had a birthday. I have been stressing so much other things (specially our finances)…but maybe it’s better. I have been thinking my age enough earlier. Now it did hit me again. How can it be possible that I’m soon 40? I don’t feel like 40. My mind is not 40. My mind is about 30. Then years ago when I was under 30 my mind was 20. Well, that’s the way it goes. Then years more and my mind will be 40…Why the mind comes so far behind and is so late? I don’t get it. It makes this getting older thing really hard! It feels like yesterday when I was 25-30 or even under…It feels like the day before yesterday when I was a child even it’s so many years ago…

Oh, how I envy people who doesn’t scare of ageing and take it easy. I just can’t be without thinking what will it bring and what does getting old mean. It means I will come weaker and weaker when years go by, maybe not yet but at some point I will…sooner or later…and surely I will come sick. I will probably have cancer or dementia or Alzheimer ’s disease…or something if I live long life…

At youngster 10-20 years (not to mention over that) feels (almost) like everlasting. The older you come the clearer you see it isn’t so at all. It will go in a blink of an eye…but can’t help. Getting older is just something you have to accept and God knows I’ve tried to do that…I really tried. In good days it’s easy, in bad days it’s hard…and somewhere deep inside I know I shouldn’t be worrying yet. I’m not even 40. That’s what I try to be happy for! This actually should be the best time of my life, like my mom always says. I’m not ”too” young (and innocent) but I’m not ”too” old either…